HaHa

Contrary to popular belief or actual statistics, I’m beginning to think living alone may be the key to a long life. Although, I have to admit, when it comes to having a good laugh, singular life at home has gotten a bit flat lately. I’ve actually found myself asking Siri, “Siri, tell me something funny.”

As I’m sure you can imagine, she has no clever retort. Instead, she responds with needing to ask Chat GPT, because apparently, she’s not that smart, then proceeds to forward the most non-amusing news of the day. Nothing worth nothing, not even a chuckle. I quickly realize she’s pretty much a zero when it comes to having a good sense of humor or understanding what one is.

If I’m looking for a laugh on TV I find myself searching for late night comedians or watching Guillermo on Dancing with the Stars which was pretty hilarious until the voters lost their sense of humor and he was eliminated, however, late night chortles are not quite the same without Stephen Colbert. Who needs SNL anymore…just turn on the news, the satire is writing itself.

So, as I continue pestering Siri for a laugh, I find my paranoia reaching new heights. I’m more than a bit concerned that Siri is taking note as I type away on my computer, stating she is barely amusing, and wondering if she might be seeking payback. I’m now questioning if I need to be more careful engaging with her. Now that we humans have all been made aware that we are living in a world where AI is about to go killer rogue. Who knows Siri’s true nature? She might already be out for revenge…and she’s been living with me for quite some time accumulating information.

For sure, she must have something on me. Although I’d have to admit, nothing much is happening in this house these days. Which brings me back to my search for a good lol. Living alone is not exactly a comedy show waiting to happen. Witty banter with others is pretty much nonexistent. Tell me please, what ever happened to a casual knock on the door?  Now that I’ve moved back to an apartment complex, except for the occasional maintenance repair visit, nary a knock.  Where did the Jehovah Witness people go? I’d actually welcome them at this point for a conversation. I mean, does anyone knock on anyone’s door anymore? When I lived in my condo complex, I always felt welcomed to saunter by my neighbors for a chat. That’s when I knew most everyone around me. Now that I live in an apartment building filled with mostly university students and young people, it feels like I’m on another planet.  I’ve noticed anyone barely looks up or acknowledges one another. Forget about an enthusiastic hello. I think I’d scare them.  It would be like jumping out and yelling boo!

As for the phones that everyone clutches in their hands all day and/or sleeps with next to their heads, it’s amazing how few actual calls I receive. Let’s face it, they are not phones anyway, they are basically miniature computers. Most of my friends rarely dial it up for a good ‘ol conversation anyway these days, let alone answer a call. Texting does not intimacy make. It seems interacting with others now comes in the form of my friends and I sending each other gifs and memes or some ridiculousness news happening on social media like Kelly Clarkson getting mad she can’t buy a fake bird off the wall of a Brooklyn magic shop that then makes the whole world goes nuts for about three days until it is onto the next social media nonsense of the moment. Meaningful interaction with others is like premium realty these days and as rare as that bird in the Brooklyn magic shop.

Of course there is always the thought of getting a pet. Except I’m way too codependent with animals. I can’t bare leaving them alone at home by themselves. It makes me too stressed out. And as much as I love my plants, they just don’t cut it as far as interaction goes, although I do admit I find myself talking to them.

I’ve come to realize the reason I have not considered retiring yet is because I fear I will lose all contact with humans. At this point, my only consistent place to engage with others on a daily basis is at work. And quite honestly, if I’m looking for any kind of laugh, the one place I’m guaranteed to find it is there. Live entertainment at its finest. A casting director couldn’t do any better in bringing together the array of wacky characters under one roof. It’s not exactly One Flew Over the Cockoo’s Nest, although that film does come to mind. I’m getting more convinced each day that I’m sitting on a gold mine of a sitcom waiting to be written. One of these days… I keep threatening...I’m gonna write it. And the priceless part is, I won’t even have to make anything up or leave it up to Chat GPT to do it for me, because it’s basically written itself. Someone hand me a pen.

Ironically, I go to work so as not be alone all day, however it’s because I go to work each day that I actually find myself grateful to go home and be alone. Call it a Catch 22 or a quagmire, maybe at the end of the day, the laughs on me.