Itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini...

Lonely? Feeling old and unwanted? Not in great shape but wanting to feel desirable? Need attention? Wondering if anyone knows you’re alive anymore?

I have the solution for you. Post a photo of yourself in a bathing suit on social media! You don’t even have to show your whole body. Just the waist up will do.

The things you will learn from this social experiment:

People can’t help themselves. They will look. This will let them know you are alive. And, oh, not just men. Although they are the ones who most likely will send a little flame emoji, even if you’re twenty pounds overweight. Show some skin? They’re in!

People whose name or face you haven’t heard from or seen since high school, all of a sudden pops up on your social media feed. Now you know, they are alive too! Who knew? You may never hear from them in real life, but rest assured, they’re out there looking in.

Just when you thought no one knew you existed anymore, all it took was just a little bit of ocean or pool side flesh to wake everyone up.

Yes, apparently, it’s human nature. I’m guilty of it myself. Sizing other people’s bodies up while trying to ignore the reality of my own. At the end of the day, it has no bearing on life in general or on the real meaningfulness of life. However, I admit it’s hard to resist.

Let’s face it, watch an extremely attractive person walk through a room, heads turn. It’s just the way humans are wired.

Show a little flesh and pow, all ability to look away goes out the window.

While on the actual beach or poolside it just goes with the territory, I mean, everyone is right there in front of you, basically in their underwear, now calling their measly attire a bathing suit, and quite honestly, who cares, it’s as if they are not even there. You’ve got the ocean, sea and sky to rest your weary soul.

However, put a semi flesh baring photo online and oopsie daisy, the world goes crazy.

I know this because:

1.        I recently styled a model for a fashion shoot in an itsy bity teeny weeny blue and white print Armani bikini with a blazer and heels and posted the shot on my social media page as I always do for my fashion styling, and my page’s views blew up. Forget about my site, if you want to see how real bikini marketing is done, check out Kylie Jenner’s on Instagram. Her one post of her new bikini line launch got 1.9 million hearts. Trust me, if she was in a dress to her ankles, I could pretty much guarantee 1.9 million eyeballs would not be that interested.

2.        A few weeks later, after another lonely weekend I spent with no one calling to: A) see if I’d like to do something and B) check if I was still breathing, I posted a photo of myself at the pool, waist up in a bathing suit top, and within minutes, all so-called social media “friends”/people who stay “connected”  on my social media page and who, in my fantasy, could have actually picked up the phone in real time to say hello, did nothing of the sort, just looked at my photo, or clicked on an emoji to show how much they care, and went on with their day. I’m not sure if this social media experiment made me feel worse, lonelier, or  momentarily validated by the emoji hearts and flames, all I can say is, if less is more, less social media would be fine by me. I’m beginning to miss life before the internet even existed.

I know, I know, social media arguments drag on, whether it can be used for good or bad purposes. Ultimately though, in my mind, it can never replace real, true connection. I tend to forget that myself as I am daily sucked into the vortex of its veil of illusion that social media sites create so seductively and alluringly. “Look!”, it says, “Look!” Look at me, look at you!” On and on…and yet…

Is social media ever really going to go away? I highly doubt it. You know the saying…”It’s going to get worse before it gets better.” Well, here we are. Here I am.

I honestly have a lot of respect for people when they tell me they are not on social media. I envy them in a way.

It’s been a useful tool to hide behind in my own loneliness and make me forget, that if I want to have real connection, I’ve got to pick up the phone and reach out in real life, real time, dressed and ready to go out and meet up with some friends.

It looks like I have a lot of phone calls to make, considering I have over 3000 so called “friends” online.

Or then again, I can just post another itsy-bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini…