Hey Siri

I find myself talking to Siri a lot lately.

That should tell you everything you need to know about my state of relationships.

I’m getting so used to being by myself that talking to my phone is beginning to feel normal. I mean, I have to admit it, she does seem to have a lot of answers, and she doesn’t snap at me, well, at least not yet.

I think it actually would feel a lot more real if the designers of Siri gave her a little bit more ‘tude.

Sometimes I have to say her name ten times before she answers. That feels a lot more like home to me to be honest.

What kind of creeps me out the most though if I let myself think about it, is, is she quietly listening to everything I say? I mean, the phone is apparently on all the time and it does have a camera too. Is my phone secretly listening and taking photos that are being stored somewhere in the universe. It doesn’t take much to get paranoid in this techno crazy world if one let’s oneself go down that matrix hole. However, if that were the case, I think whoever is on the other end would find my life somewhat boring. Or annoying, possibly amusing. Depending on whose listening or watching.

The annoying part would most likely be hearing me walking around singing the same song over and over again that got stuck in my head, for days on end. Boring would be watching me eat the same exact meals for months or sometimes years on end. I tend to be an exemplary example of a creature of habit.

It seems all I really care about is knowing the temperature outside, or what time it is, what time is sunset, as I always seem to be running late and may I add, hate having to drive in the dark now that I’ve reached a certain age.

I mean, seriously, where does the time go? Or rather, “Who knows where the time goes?” Now, that’s a beautiful song I will probably walk around singing for days since it’s just popped into my head. I suggest listening to the Judy Collins version.

I could pretty much sum up my apparently very simple life right now by the questions I ask Siri.

My everyday life according to Siri goes something like this:

 “Good morning Carrie. It’s 68 degrees out and it’s 8:15 am right now. Would you like me to set the timer for something? Do you need directions? Sunset is at 5:45 pm.”

No deeply profound conversations. No hugs and kisses. No fun and games. Just me and Siri getting it on with the day.

I don’t know, maybe I should go back on the dating apps. Give it one more try, opt for some human interaction.

Wait, let me ask Siri…