Nap out of it

The other day, someone asked me how I am.

I answered, “I’m fine, just don’t ask me how I’m doing.”’

They laughed. I laughed. That intercepted that conversation.

Speaking of conversations. There are way too many going on inside my head at all hours of the day and night. I try my best to intercept as many as possible as so not to go down a rabbit hole.

Speaking of rabbit holes, just turn on the news. Anyone else freaked out?

I always wondered why older people take naps all the time. I think I understand now. Trying to process the news at any given moment. Exhausting.

Speaking of naps.

I totally understand them now. I’m all in. Who knew? Infants and old folks knew all along, that’s who.

Apparently, in other cultures too, daytime snoozing is not just for older people. When I used to travel for my design job to Taiwan, the entire office would shut down after lunch. They’d shut the lights, and everyone would put their head down on their worktable and shloof away. I remember feeling mystified and intrigued at the same time coming from American culture where this was clearly not a work thing. However, I quickly learned that the reason they did this was because they were expected to work longer hours, into the early evening.

In European culture, entire cities shut down midafternoon for lunch and rest and the cities are alive until later in the evening. What a great idea.

However, back here in the good ol’ USA I’ve always resisted taking a mid-day nap. There’s not enough time in the day is what I’ve always told myself. Naps seemed like such a waste of time, and I have to say, a bit on the unsexy side. I remember a while back I was visiting an older male friend I was “interested in” in NYC, and he basically kicked me out of his apt saying he had to take a nap. I remember feeling somewhat appalled. What do you mean you have to take a nap? “Yeah”, he said. I took my dog out for a long walk earlier.” What?!!! I just walked across Central Park and twenty blocks on the Upper West Side to visit him, and he was tired from taking his dog out for a walk. Little did I understand he was onto something.

He may have had a dog to pucker him out, as for me, after experiencing the dark side of the daily news cycle lately I’ve come to see the light. I’ve decided napping is my new form of escapism and new form of exercise. Who needs a dog to walk or cross fit (is that even a thing anymore?) to justify closing my eyes to get a refresh on reality for 30 minutes.

It’s gotten to the point where all I have to do is just even glance at my couch, let alone sit on it and ’m done for. Instant snooze.

And just like muffins are glorified cake, and cars are just basically armchairs with wheels and steering, I’ve come to realize, couches are just glorified beds. I can fall asleep quicker on my couch than on my actual bed. Two seconds flat.  And forget it if I pick up any section of the Sunday NY Times to read. Or even just glance at that stack of an overstuffed paper. That is a sure-fire way to fall asleep in one minute flat.

I remember when my son was a toddler, all I wanted was just ten minutes of down time from running after him for hours on end. So, I developed a tactic.  I’d put him in his car seat and drive down the highway inducing him to take a nap. It seemed like the only thing that worked.

Now, he’s grown and I’m the one needing the nap. Driving myself down the highway is not the best idea in this case, and apparently not necessary as it turns out I can induce a daytime escape at the drop of a hat. 

Only problem is, I’m up all night.

Apparently, just one more reason for a daytime snooze.

(Just don’t tell my boss.)