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Kvetch in the City - Old School

I need to clear something up. I’m fine. Apparently, there was some voiced concern from my last column that I was not doing okay. I was writing my truth last month of traditionally feeling a bit blue during the months of January and February. It seems to have been misinterpreted. I wasn’t feeling particularly funny or kvetchy and I unknowingly threw some readers off. As a matter of fact, today, when I went downtown to the Antiques & Garden show I ran into someone I happen to know from the community at the door taking tickets. He said he had read the column and felt bad for me, he asked if I was trying to get a date from the column and he had thought about sending me flowers. Which, by the way, I made a mental note, he did not do. I then realized how easy it is for people to read into things. I told him I’m not writing the column to get a date (although, let’s face it, I wouldn’t turn down some great guy or flowers for that matter), I’m writing the column to invite others into my life journey, which on most days, has a certain amount of kvetching involved and a certain amount of humor. I certainly didn’t intend for my column to be a pity party. That being said, I’ve got bigger fish to fry this month.

Society is crumbling, housing markets are out of control, young people are fleeing jobs, and I’m holding on by my teeth in a world where being considered “Old School” is now seen as “cute” as I’ve been called by millennials. What comes next? Maybe that I’ll actually turn into an Alte Kaker. If you don’t know this Yiddish phrase…you definitely did not grow up in my family. I suggest Googling and while you’re at it…not calling anyone that. It just rolls off the tongue sounding yick.

And while I’m having my say, I think young people would greatly benefit from some Old School skills. Like lifting their heads out of their phones and actually using it to call someone, like a real person. Enough with the texting. How about knowing how to use a needle and thread to sew on a button. One young woman, a model that I recently styled for a fashion shoot, literally could not tie a shoelace. How is that even possible? Are Velcro sneakers killing brain cells?

And, yes, while I admit I could definitely up my game with computer skills in order to survive in this Matrix of a world, I can guarantee you, if the internet went bust, I’ve got a bus load of Old School survival skills up my sleeve and down to a science. Let’s see what the Millenials call me then!

Tonight, while speaking with my son on the phone (yes, I’ve raised him well - he actually calls) he was telling me about several of his twenty something year old friends in NYC who are consultants. I asked him, “What the hell kind of job is that for a twenty something year old? What are they consulting about? Don’t you need life experience to be a consultant? Like say, someone who is “Old School?”

I give up. The world is backwards and upside down right now. I feel like Alice in wonderland at the Mad Tea Party.

So…I’m going to take a minute to disconnect, take a deep breath, make myself a cup of chamomile, relish the coming of Spring, not wait for someone to send me flowers, just take a walk outside and pick myself some, listen to the birds in the trees. Kind of Old School…don’t you think?

And yes…I’m doing just fine.


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